crash&burn.

i said i'd never let you go and i never did.

i said i'd never let you fall and i meant it.


Breakfast- 1/2 cup Gatorade Rain, 1/2 cup water = 25
Lunch- 1/2 cup Gatorade Rain, 1/2 cup water = 25
Dinner- 1 cup corn w/ butter & garlic powder & olive oil, 1/2 large banana, 1 slice toast w/ butter, 1/2 cup Gatorade Rain = 485
Other- n/a
Harm- None. Day 19. Urges were really bad last night. I was laying in bed holding a razor for like two hours. I put it away and fell asleep with my picture of Tiger instead. <3
Notes- Only twenty pounds until 135. I can do this. I can get back on my meal plan.
Still, 135 sounds strange. Not too small or too big for once. I don't know how to manage health.
I'm scared. I love how my reaction to fear is to restrict.


Also, love? I'm proud of you. Sometimes you scare the fuck out of me but I know you're strong enough to keep going. <3 oh, and in case you still don't realize it, you're fucking beautiful. And amazing. And you mean everything to me. I'd be totally lost without you. I'm sorry if I've been distant lately. <3
[lololol, my short sentence turned into a lovespew.]