crash&burn.

I'm really hungry, I'm dizzy, my hands are freezing and parts of my body are going numb. That must mean I'm doing well.
Except for the fact that I've eaten. I get hungry easier lately. It's probably because my period came back. Fuck you, bleeding uterus. I will disable you again.
Anyways. My in take so far.
1/2 Tostitos Scoop (5.8)
1/2 teaspoon cheese dip (7.5)
1 rice cake (35)
1 pickle (20)
_48.3 calories
(bolded things...Why did I eat those? Fear.)
That's a really shitty, embarrassing amount of calories. That's like what a fat ass like me should eat in five days. Fattie. I have to survive dinner soon, too.
I really want Diet Coke. It's a really strong craving. I'm not even craving the taste of regular coke. If I was craving that, I'd put up with the calories and drink it at this point. If I asked my dad to get me some, he'd drive with me down the block to get some. But I'm craving Diet Coke. And I can't ask to go get some because that would start a biblical grade battle.
I'll update this later. I have to go sit in the living room and wait for dinner. I'll try to end up under 500. Eating sounds really impossible right now. Food sounds disgusting. Not even disgusting, just something undesirable. I can't wait until my dad leaves for his training for a week so I can fast.

EDIT -
Dinner was shitty. I really didn't want to eat.
Mom wanted to make me an entire PACKAGE of french toast sticks for dinner. It's hard living in the same house, with her overeating and me undereating.
Anyways. Instead, I ate:
5 Veggie Nuggets (237.5)
1/2 apple (40)
So my total for the day is 325.8. It feels like a lot more.
It SHOULD be a lot less.

Also, life has a sick sense of humor. As I'm beginning to have reaaaaally strong cravings for Diet Coke, a commercial for it came on. I feel screaming FML is appropriate.