Mom just canceled my evaluation appointment for treatment. She says she can do a better job and that it's best for me to be home.
Because apparently ‘we’ve got the eating disorder under control’. ARE YOU FUCKING BLIND. SO FUCKING UNDER CONTROL THAT FIVE MINUTES BEFORE YOU SAID THAT I WAS IN THE BATHROOM THROWING UP A SHITLOAD OF BLOOD. SO UNDER CONTROL THAT I STILL RESTRICT 3/4 OF THE TIME. SO FUCKING UNDER CONTROL THAT I’M TOTAAAALLY NOT LOSING WEIGHT AGAIN.
FUCK. I didn’t want to go but I needed the help. Is she fucking blind? Has she noticed what goes on with me? Never mind that I’ve been in the hospital three times this month, IT’S ALL UNDER CONTROL, GUYS.
I'm not fucking doing well. I've been trying as hard as I can and I'm still restricting and still purging and still cutting. It's not like I'm trying to do this. I'm not trying to stay sick. I need some fucking help. Taking me to a therapy appointment once a week obviously isn't doing anything.
I'll probably be fine without inpatient treatment, but I'm scared. I've been getting out of control again and it sucks that it doesn't stop no matter how hard I try.
It pisses me off that she knows I've been hiding food and cutting quite a lot and she still doesn't take it seriously that I need a little more help. I'm not asking for someone to do everything for me, I'm trying really hard, but just to...I don't know, meet me halfway. Help.
UGH. AKDJAWEA
Because apparently ‘we’ve got the eating disorder under control’. ARE YOU FUCKING BLIND. SO FUCKING UNDER CONTROL THAT FIVE MINUTES BEFORE YOU SAID THAT I WAS IN THE BATHROOM THROWING UP A SHITLOAD OF BLOOD. SO UNDER CONTROL THAT I STILL RESTRICT 3/4 OF THE TIME. SO FUCKING UNDER CONTROL THAT I’M TOTAAAALLY NOT LOSING WEIGHT AGAIN.
FUCK. I didn’t want to go but I needed the help. Is she fucking blind? Has she noticed what goes on with me? Never mind that I’ve been in the hospital three times this month, IT’S ALL UNDER CONTROL, GUYS.
I'm not fucking doing well. I've been trying as hard as I can and I'm still restricting and still purging and still cutting. It's not like I'm trying to do this. I'm not trying to stay sick. I need some fucking help. Taking me to a therapy appointment once a week obviously isn't doing anything.
I'll probably be fine without inpatient treatment, but I'm scared. I've been getting out of control again and it sucks that it doesn't stop no matter how hard I try.
It pisses me off that she knows I've been hiding food and cutting quite a lot and she still doesn't take it seriously that I need a little more help. I'm not asking for someone to do everything for me, I'm trying really hard, but just to...I don't know, meet me halfway. Help.
UGH. AKDJAWEA
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