thirty-six.

I wish I were happier.

I wish I were well-adjusted.

I wish I were more stable.

I wish I were stronger [for one person in particular].

I wish a lot of things but they don't happen.

I'm not sure if I'm hungry anymore. I feel more drained than hungry.

[another thing- I wish I could eat.]

I'm not even sure what else to say here. I feel like I should be more far along in recovery. Instead I've barely gotten anywhere.

---

food/drinks:

1 packet apple cinnamon oatmeal [130] [I haven't had this yet, I plan to eat it for breakfast]

Southwest salad without dressing or chicken [140] [I haven't had this yet, I plan to eat it for lunch]

Tofu scramble [325] [I haven't had this yet, I plan to eat it for dinner]

other:

n/a

exercise:

I'll probably go for a walk at lunch time.

harm [day two]:

None.

The cut with staples is even more swollen. D: They said it's just because the muscle is trying to heal too and it's getting inflamed. It soaked completely through [yuckkk] my bandages last night and it's turned green. I think it's infected despite the antibiotics. :c 

The other cuts on my right arm are healing okay [a week old]. They haven't closed or scabbed over yet, they just have a weird film over them. o___O They were going to staple these too, but they're too old. And in my opinion not deep enough to really worry about, but.

Left arm is almost completely healed, the scars aren't too bad. They're like purple indents in my skin. I think they're probably turn white eventually.

babblebabblebabble.

notes:

I know the meal plan I made for today is too little, but with how I've been eating lately it seems like a lot. And there's a lot of carbs there, a good amount of veggies, and protein. It's not great but it's an improvement.