secrets.

I have secrets.

"You're allowed to have secrets, Arianna. Just no dangerous ones, okay?"

but those are the best kind. And they're the only ones I have.

I have two hardware razors. I have two blades taken from new pencil sharpeners, unscrew the one screw and you have a new tool. I have one shiny safety pin but the lighter I had for it was taken yesterday.

A lot of my secrets were found yesterday, going through my room and taking what was not right [notebooks, cigarettes, sharp things], but these secrets are still with me. I will never tell where they're hidden.

I keep a bag next to my bed with all my important things packed. In case I have to leave. It's not really a secret, everyone sees it.

My best secret, the bestbestbest one is that I've lost five pounds since I got out of going to the hospital. I loaded up on water, on anything heavy when they last weighed me. I tampered with the scale so it showed twenty more than I really am.

I'm a deceptive liar. I manipulate and cheat and hurt.

I have one good secret, one secret that is nothing but wonderful. The drawing of Tiger I keep in my bra, on the left side over my heart, where no one will find or take it. Her number is folded up with the drawing, words only a phone call away.