food/drinks:
I've been binging all day. Not purging because I'm monitored after I eat now. Woo hoo, panicing. exercise:
I'm not allowed to exercise right now. :c
Apparently I exercise obsessively [I don't anymore, I assume this is about a few months ago when I'd work out for four to six hours at a time], so I can't for a while. D:< I guess this doesn't include walks/hikes/runs[maybe?], so I'll continue with those.
harm[day six]:
None.
notes:
I've been trying to figure out why cutting got so bad. Last year I never even broke completely through the skin. Six months ago I'd never seen fat tissue. A month ago I'd never seen muscle. I used to cut so shallow and I never believed anyone when they said it would get worse. I guess the longer I let it go on the worse it will get.Also, I'm a fat bitch who can't go a week without binging. Seriously. I have an eating disorder? lololol. I eat too much. Fake. Fat fucking fake.
I see my new psychiatrist tomorrow. She's an ED specialist who works mostly with teenagers. Woo. Which means I'm going to a clinic where there are 4304234092342 people with actual eating disorders and I'm going to be the giant one in the room.
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