I say you want to stop trying. But hon, don't you want to live again? Not this stupid existing shit, but actually live? Breathe in and out. Feel that? That's life, entering your body, flowing through it. Exhale. That's the old air that your body used, leaving your body. And then it goes to the trees, the plants, the beauty all around you. You make everything gorgeous. Your beauty shines and those things around you can't help but feel your glow and in doing so, you give them permission to shine.
I know it's hard. I know it's fucking scary. I know your monsters terrify you, and even more because you know they're in your head. I know things seem hopeless. I know a part of you doesn't want to get better. I know you don't think you even know what being truly happy feels like.
Well, then. There's never a better time to find out.
You're not alone. No matter what you are doing, HOW you're doing...however you're feeling, I'm there. If you're feeling depressed, i'm there. Beside you, holding you. If you're angry, I'm there to listen to you rant. If you're happy, I'm there, to share in it and make everything awesome. There's an invisible line connecting us that will never be erased. I won't let it.
This pain that you're feeling? It's only temporary. I know it's practically impossible for you to believe me, but it's the truth. Sure, there might be scars [both metaphorically and physically :P] but they will be nothing more than stories of what you've been through. The wound will heal, and though you'll never be completely the same, the pain won't be there anymore.
And I don't expect you to be perfect. No one does. Other than yourself. I love you, flaws [or, at least, what you percieve to be your flaws] and all. Isn't that what love is? Loving someone, no matter what? When you'll do anything, just to make you smile? I love you. That's why I'm trying to change [even though some days I just want to [and do] go "eh, fuck this." and give up]. Because I love you. And I want you to be happy. And I know you love me, and making me happy makes you happy. So, it follows, that if I love you, I should try to be happy long-term. [Not that I mean you only love/like me when i'm happy, because I know that's not true, and you should know that the same is true, I love you no matter what.]
Someday this will all be better. Not perfect, but, better. We'll be happy. And we'll meet up. And we'll hug and dance [time warp on the highway? Hell yes.] and sing and cuddleeeeee and just, be together. Dirt and air will be even more meaningless than they are now. This is what you want, even if a part of you finds it too terrifying to sometimes even contemplate. But to get that, you can't give up. You have to keep trying. I know you will. There might be setbacks, but in the end, everything will be okay. If it's not okay, it's not the end. And because I know that, and becuase I know you, I know you won't give up. Not for long. You're a fighter. You're strong. Stop shaking your head no. Stop arguing with me in your head. Stop thinking of all the things you could say to me and all the reasons why i'm wrong. You ARE.
And for the record, you're also beautiful, stunning, amazing, adorable, fantastic, wonderful, wonderfundle, lovely, special, precious, loveable, spectacular, gorgeous... the list goes on.
I'm sorry for lovespewing all over this, but apparently I feel like loverambling, and I get the feeling you might need it right now.
...when hopes and dreams are far away and you feel like you can't face the day... Let me be the one you call, if you jump, i'll break your fall. Lift you up and fly away with you into the night. If you need to fall apart, I can mend a broken heart. If you need to crash then crash and burn you're not alone.
I say you want to stop trying. But hon, don't you want to live again? Not this stupid existing shit, but actually live? Breathe in and out. Feel that? That's life, entering your body, flowing through it. Exhale. That's the old air that your body used, leaving your body. And then it goes to the trees, the plants, the beauty all around you. You make everything gorgeous. Your beauty shines and those things around you can't help but feel your glow and in doing so, you give them permission to shine.
ReplyDeleteI know it's hard. I know it's fucking scary. I know your monsters terrify you, and even more because you know they're in your head. I know things seem hopeless. I know a part of you doesn't want to get better. I know you don't think you even know what being truly happy feels like.
Well, then. There's never a better time to find out.
You're not alone. No matter what you are doing, HOW you're doing...however you're feeling, I'm there. If you're feeling depressed, i'm there. Beside you, holding you. If you're angry, I'm there to listen to you rant. If you're happy, I'm there, to share in it and make everything awesome. There's an invisible line connecting us that will never be erased. I won't let it.
This pain that you're feeling? It's only temporary. I know it's practically impossible for you to believe me, but it's the truth. Sure, there might be scars [both metaphorically and physically :P] but they will be nothing more than stories of what you've been through. The wound will heal, and though you'll never be completely the same, the pain won't be there anymore.
And I don't expect you to be perfect. No one does. Other than yourself. I love you, flaws [or, at least, what you percieve to be your flaws] and all. Isn't that what love is? Loving someone, no matter what? When you'll do anything, just to make you smile? I love you. That's why I'm trying to change [even though some days I just want to [and do] go "eh, fuck this." and give up]. Because I love you. And I want you to be happy. And I know you love me, and making me happy makes you happy. So, it follows, that if I love you, I should try to be happy long-term. [Not that I mean you only love/like me when i'm happy, because I know that's not true, and you should know that the same is true, I love you no matter what.]
Someday this will all be better. Not perfect, but, better. We'll be happy. And we'll meet up. And we'll hug and dance [time warp on the highway? Hell yes.] and sing and cuddleeeeee and just, be together. Dirt and air will be even more meaningless than they are now. This is what you want, even if a part of you finds it too terrifying to sometimes even contemplate. But to get that, you can't give up. You have to keep trying.
I know you will. There might be setbacks, but in the end, everything will be okay. If it's not okay, it's not the end. And because I know that, and becuase I know you, I know you won't give up. Not for long. You're a fighter. You're strong. Stop shaking your head no. Stop arguing with me in your head. Stop thinking of all the things you could say to me and all the reasons why i'm wrong. You ARE.
And for the record, you're also beautiful, stunning, amazing, adorable, fantastic, wonderful, wonderfundle, lovely, special, precious, loveable, spectacular, gorgeous... the list goes on.
I'm sorry for lovespewing all over this, but apparently I feel like loverambling, and I get the feeling you might need it right now.
...when hopes and dreams are far away and you feel like you can't face the day... Let me be the one you call, if you jump, i'll break your fall. Lift you up and fly away with you into the night. If you need to fall apart, I can mend a broken heart. If you need to crash then crash and burn you're not alone.
Oh, and one more thing? I love you <3