forty-nine.

breakfast/10am: 1 cigarette, 1 mug peppermint tea with Splenda = 5.7

lunch/1pm: 1 cigarette, 1 mug peppermint tea with Sweet N' Low = 5.7

dinner/6pm: 1/4 cup white long grain rice, 5 strips vegetarian 'chicken', 1 liter water = 170

other: 1 mug peppermint tea with Equal, 1 liter water, some of a veggie burger= 200.3
-

total calories:  382/1000 goal      liquid calories:  17.1       solid calories: 364.6      calorie deficit: 1168/-0.333

total fat:  8g      saturated fat: 1g     trans fat: 0g
total carbohydrates: 58      dietary fiber carbohydrates: 8g      sugars carbohydrates: 19
sodium: 1050mg      protein: 23g      cholesterol: 0g

 exercise: 2 short walks/hikes

vitals: 95.5 temp, 50 bpm

harm: A few at 4am.

notes:  I decided to start taking vitals because my doctor thinks it's important to monitor. I have a blood pressure cuff too but I can't be arsed to actually use it. I can already guess it's most likely low.

I am so frustrated. I can't eat. Between 12pm and 3pm I got up and down, bringing food to the table and putting it back when I couldn't bring myself to take the first bite. Just AJELKALEWALKEA. It's just food. I feel like I ate too much today. At 'lunch' when I was making tea I had the thought that I didn't want it. I thought about how nice it'd be to be truly empty, without even liquids. Nothing at all. Thoughts like that scare the crap out of me. 


I WILL eat breakfast tomorrow. I WILL eat lunch tomorrow.



I'm so sorry Tiger. I tried and I couldn't. 


edit - Ate some more last night. 8D