I am deceptive.
Burger goes in my bra.
Corn goes in my pockets.
Lieslieslies go out my mouth.
I get out with 439 stupid calories.
I keep crying. I'm in an abusive relationship and it hurts, it is my every waking thought. I could just break up the relationship, but I can't. It is me and myself, me hurting me. How can you not hate someone how burns your skin, who starves you, who forces massive amounts of food into you and then induces vomiting? You can't not hate that person.
Of course, there is always Matilda, but really she is me too. It's just easier to call her someone else and deny she's just my thoughts.
But I'm a bit frightened. Today, I was in the bathroom and I heard someone say 'I thought you weren't going to do this again?!'. There was no one home, I looked through the house to see if any one was there. It took me a while to realize it was Matilda talking to me. Not in my head, not on paper or on a screen, but talking like she has flesh and blood and bones.
-0.9 pound
i won't let you say goodbye, and i'll be your reason why.
At least you are honest about you lie about....that makes you a beautiful contradiction...an honest deceiver.... ;0)
ReplyDeleteThere is always that...
ReplyDeleteThank you, Anonymous.
Where are you Ari? I miss reading your blogs...and it's been 3 DAYS! I hope your ok...hopefully you're just having an amazing time somewhere out there in the world and have simply lost track of the time....?
ReplyDeleteI hope all is well in Ari-Land :0)
(((HUG)))
I'm alright. =] I was finishing up school and quite busy with it. I'm sorry if I worried you!
ReplyDeleteAri-Land is cloudy but definitely getting sunnier at the moment. <3