When I woke up my heart was beating too fast, faster, faster. And my head was pounding.
I was scared, I am scared.
....The Last Time my heart and head were that way was before I nearly had heart failure. I went to the hospital, they
unwrapped the bandages from my wrists and the snakes from my head, shook their heads, took my heart rate (153-171), laid me down to rest and
hopefully survive before they shipped me to a hospital that could (hopefully) deal with my brand of crazy.
I'm scared, scared of something being wrong and of having to eat.
So, to make it stop, I ate oatmeal(130) and filled a huge bottle of water to drink.
It was fine, all through the day...fine, well...(what do those words even mean finefinefinefinefine still don't know)
And then, when my mom asked if I had eaten anything all day, I binged.
I don't know why. God, I don't know.
I'm such a failure.
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