crash&burn.

I binged.

Just to do it, just to rebel against my control, just to feel what it was like to have a sore, full belly.

I hate it.

I can feel it, inside me. I gave permission for the food, but not the calories. I want it gone.

But it's punishment now.

I can't allow myself to just fix my mistake by purging.

That's the easy way out.

I should let myself suffer slowly.

I don't understand why I do this. It's not like I'm ever that hungry, or that I'm having cravings. I just mindlessly start eating.