crash&burn.

I feel so fucking lonely.
I’m in one of those moods where I think everyone hates me.
I think that Domi [Dakota] doesn’t want me to be so involved with her life. She has other friends and I’m not exactly needed like I used to be.
I’m absolutely sure Ann [Amanda] thinks I’m annoying and stupid and immature. It’s mutual, but still. Plus there’s a lot of awkwardness right now and I don’t think we’re ever going to be close friends like we used to be again.
I’m pretty certain that Erin [Arwen] doesn’t want to talk to me anymore/as much because she’s a lot older than me and I’m immature/naïve. We were really close when she was younger, but she’s in her twenties now and our lives are totally different.
I don’t have any other real friends. =/ I stopped talking to everyone else a while ago. Aside from Cat [Tiger], which obviously means a lot. But it’s not like I can just call her and be like HEY COME HANG OUT.
Even though I know that realistically no one probably actually hates me, they’re just busy, I still automatically think that way. D:<
I hate that I burn bridges, push people away, act bitchy towards them, and then just end up regretting it. I hate that I’m a clingy, whiny, dependent person.
Even if I -want- to make friends, I just end up being way too blunt/overbearing and weird everyone out. I’m always the weird, bitchy chick and people instantly don’t want to be around me.