After the purge, after the part where I stumble along the river as far as I can go, after my fingers go down my throat, after everything comes up, I'm standing on a rock, arms out. I'm so high. This is what heaven feels like, dizzy and empty, like a vessel that was full until tipped and cracks are spiderwebbing on the glass.
I'm out of the bathroom, under the spotlight, dress on. Top = Size 1. Bottoms = Size 6. Who knows what size we all are. We can be thumbelinas or giants.
Me: Okay, so this is probably the only time you'll see me in clothes that fit.
Dakota: Oh my god! You're so thin!
She grabs my waist, testing it's size with her fingers. I feel like she's probing the fat.
Me: I'm not.
Megan: Yeah, you are...
Dakota: Why are you so thinnnnnn?
i won't let you say goodbye, and i'll be your reason why.
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