Stepping on scales is a moment where you hold your breath, and think about that everything that has ever passed your lips since...ever. It'll all weigh you down, and your existence will register on this test.
You are cheating.
I get to be at the scale only every once in a while. It's hidden, but I know where it is.
When I breathe out and open my eyes, I am -5 pounds since last time I stood on it about a week ago. I'm only happy for a second.
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