crash&burn.

It's 5:04. I'm hungry. I've eaten 173 calories already but I'm hungry.
Dad just came home, I'm getting a bowl.
"Aren't you supposed to be doing schoolwork?"
"I'm hungry."
"Doesn't matter. You've got homework."
"Oh. But I'm hungry."
"You eat all day! Jesus Christ, she walks out in the morning, has breakfast. Does some school, has a snack. Have lunch, does some school. Have a snack, check Facebook. And then the 5 in the afternoon snack." He says it teasingly. But I freeze.
I clench my fists tight. I don't want to eat now. I don't want to at all. But I've poured too much oatmeal (160) in the bowl and I'm standing in the spotlight. Their eyes are broken and wouldn't understand if I put back half, three fourths, all of it.
I throw the bowl against the wall so it shatters into ceramic land mines all over the floor. I scream at my dad that I barely eat and this is my safe food and he can't fuck it up for me. I tell the truth. I giggle and shake my head, fill the bowl with water, and shove it in the microwave.

Down a pound.