crash&burn.

In the morning, I feel okay.

Better than I thought I would after two days with barely anything taken in.

I debated with myself all morning on eating. Eat...don't eat....Eat...don't eat.

I made myself 1/4 packet of oatmeal, with a lot of water so it would be soupy and easy to swallow. It was thirty-two calories.

After an hour of sitting with it, I willed myself to suck it up and just EAT. IT. Drink it, whatever.

I held the rim of the bowl to my mouth, tilted my head back, and chugged it.

After about two seconds, I puked. Unwillingly. All over my hand, and back into my bowl. Ew.

After a washed my hand off, I walked out into the living room and said "I puked."

My mom looked up and asked "Why?".

Like she thought it was on purpose.

"Accidentally," I replied, turning and walking back down the hall to lean over the toilet just in case I puked again.

An hour later, I tried again to eat, because I had to go to class. I need to be well to get good grades.

I ate a cup of green beans (40), slowly. I still feel sick, forcing each bite down was a mental and physical battle.

Finally, it was done, and I got to class half an hour early.