Going to the ER. I'm tired of this.

i am so, so tired.

I hate that no matter how far or fast I run, this will always catch up to me.

418.

I feel so fucking lonely.
I’m in one of those moods where I think everyone hates me.
I think that Domi [Dakota] doesn’t want me to be so involved with her life. She has other friends and I’m not exactly needed like I used to be.
I’m absolutely sure Ann [Amanda] thinks I’m annoying and stupid and immature. It’s mutual, but still. Plus there’s a lot of awkwardness right now and I don’t think we’re ever going to be close friends like we used to be again.
I’m pretty certain that Erin [Arwen] doesn’t want to talk to me anymore/as much because she’s a lot older than me and I’m immature/naïve. We were really close when she was younger, but she’s in her twenties now and our lives are totally different.
I don’t have any other real friends. =/ I stopped talking to everyone else a while ago. Aside from Cat [Tiger], which obviously means a lot. But it’s not like I can just call her and be like HEY COME HANG OUT.
Even though I know that realistically no one probably actually hates me, they’re just busy, I still automatically think that way. D:<
I hate that I burn bridges, push people away, act bitchy towards them, and then just end up regretting it. I hate that I’m a clingy, whiny, dependent person.
Even if I -want- to make friends, I just end up being way too blunt/overbearing and weird everyone out. I’m always the weird, bitchy chick and people instantly don’t want to be around me.

When nothing you say is heard
And nobody cares if you hurt
And I know how it seems
you're nothing but screams
But take it from me it's not the end
And all that you try goes wrong
And nothing but lies for so long
And I know how it seems it's hard to believe
But take it from me it's not the end Stuck
Keep moving Stuck
don't let it die
Stay alive, stay alive, because
it's almost over now
Stay alive, stay alive, better
days to come around
Nothing is right your head
And all of your tears are shed[ Find more Lyrics on http://mp3lyrics.org/G3Im ]
I know how it seems
you're in this too deep
But take it from me it's not the end Stuck
Keep moving Stuck
don't let it die
Stay alive, stay alive because
it's almost over now
Stay alive, stay alive for
better days to come around
Screaming, needing something
to stop this feeling
Trying to get by it, keep all
my wounds from bleeding
Stay alive, stay alive because
it's almost over now
Stay alive, stay alive, for
better days to come around
Stay alive, stay alive, because
it's almost over now
Stay alive, stay alive for
better days to come around Stuck

brekkie - skipped.
lunch - skipped.
dinner - 1 slice pizza. 2 diet sodas. small salad. 410. partially purged.
other - 2 glasses water. 2 pieces gum. 10.

Fuck. I feel like I ate a lot. 

Calorie wise, I know I should have eaten a lot more, but basically at this point I really really really just don't want to binge and purge. Like, I'm having serious anxiety about it. =/ Which means I will restrict because I'm afraid of eating, then eventually binge, then purge. fuck yeah.

FUCK EVERYTHING. D:<